Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Dear Mr. Neil Degrasse Tyson

Sir,

I don't think I need to tell you that it is hot outside.  It is very, very, very hot.  As a writer, I understand that using the word "very" is a lazy way of writing, however my brain is so fried from this heat, so this is the only word besides "hot" that comes to mind.

You have proven your argument. My children and I watched Cosmos last year (kids rewatched it again this month) and you have thoroughly convinced us of the science surrounding Global Climate Change. You've made your point, so turn heat down, please.  It's just too hot.

Yes, I understand, weather and climate are two different things and so daily weather conditions can fluctuate, whereas climate change is the pattern of weather over the course of time.  The pattern here lately is hot.  So hot my goldfish are panicking and they live in a bowl inside my comfy air conditioned house.

My wife is threatening to leave me because I won't do the yard work.  My dogs hate me because I won't take them for a walk. My kids are starting to hate on me because I promised to take them rock hounding this summer and I haven't.  Why?  Because it is very, very, very hot.

You said climate change is everyone's problem and we each need to do our part.  I've replaced every light in the house with an LED light, reduced the excess mileage I put on my car and we plan to move into a more energy efficient home with energy efficient appliances.  I would even like to have a solar panel array to produce my own power.

My family and I are big fans, so we know and believe in your mission.  You made us believers even if the science doesn't require us to believe for it to be true.

So I've done my part, Mr. Tyson. I now place this into your good hands.  You are a very smart and charismatic guy, so I know you got this.  I believe in you, man.  I know you can fix the problem.  It's just too hot!

Sincerely,
Will


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